I'm (NOT) a Failure

So yeah. I'm the flower farm girl. I'm supposed to know how to do this seed starting thing. Welp, I just killed about 90% of the seeds I started.

A new grow light, a new system of soil blocking, a new location to start them. I let the seed get too dry, then too wet. Then in my attempts to find my sweet spot, they got too hot. Pretty sure that steam coming off my soil blocks under the light, on top of the heat mat, with the cover on to hold in moisture...is not a good sign.

This does not look at all like the seed catalogs. Or the online tutorials. I thought I knew how to do this. Why does this have to be so hard? All the seed money down the drain. I'm not cut out for this. If I can't even start seed, what business do I have running a flower farm?

I'm a failure.

Whoa. See what I just did there? At rocket speed my brain went from, "Oops, that didn't turn out like I'd hoped" to "I'm a failure." Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Truth: I am NOT a failure. Seeds are no indication of my worth as a human being. My ability (or inability) to make plants grow doesn't get to name me. Some of my seeds didn't grow, but that is absolutely no reflection of who I am.

Truth: There is no such thing as failure. Only data. Only feedback. Only information. I learned several ways not to start seed. I calibrated. I adjusted my approach. I researched and grew as a grower and as a human being. I know more now about seed starting than I ever did before.

Truth: I am making mistakes because I'm trying. I have a dream to grow beauty and place it into weary hands. To make a difference in people's lives via flowers. If I never put feet to my dream, if I decided to stay on the couch in my jammies (sooo tempting), I wouldn't have killed my seeds. And I would have robbed myself of the opportunity to learn, to grow, to be resilient, and try again. My mistakes prove I am on the path to my dreams.

How about you? Can you relate? I sure hope so. If your life is messy and fraught with mistakes, you can be my friend. It means we're human. It means we have hopes and dreams. It means we're going for it. Falling flat on our faces is not just ok, it's necessary.

And I'm pretty sure beauty will come from this seed snaffoo. I hope to meet you at the farm stand in a couple months. I'll put a bouquet of flowers grown from seed in your hands... and we can celebrate what happens when we fall down and get back up again. See you soon!